Well...it's all over. All of the fanfare. All of the secrets. All of the paper and tags and bows. They all lead up to this one magical day. The day when we find out the results of our homework assignement for the past year to "be good". Come christmas morning the results of our homework are directly reflected in what the our test giver (Santa) has left under our tree.
I myself did not do as good as I have in years gone by, as I'm sure Wendi will attest. I partially blame UDOT for the last half of the year. It turns out I don't react well to long-term road construction...who knew?
Wouldn't it be nice if all aspects of our lives were graded in such a way? Nobody would ask eachother how they performed but rather wait for the gift(s) under the three to let them know. Paychecks from our jobs would reflect a different amount depending on how well one did thier job. Spousal arguments would be replaced with gifts of coal or macaroni sculptures of them getting the silent treatment.
Yep, if only Santa could be in charge of the good/bad thing all year round. Then we would see some change around here.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
How much did they really know?
I wonder how much Mary and Joseph really understood of the journey that lay ahead of their newborn son. When his birth was proclaimed by heavenly messengers to the inhabitants of the earth they must have had some inkling of his importance to the world. Or when 3 men traveled from parts unknown to worship the child that even as a child he roll was clear.
But did they understand the requirements that were laid at his feet from the day he was born? Did they know that they were preparing him for the perfect life he was to lead? Traveling from place to place, proclaiming his Father, healing the sick as he went and preaching repentance to the sinners? Did they know as they raised him the faith he would need to call people forth from their tomb and it be done according to his command?
Did they know that he would be despised by the wealthy and educated throughout his entire life? That he would live a life of selflessness and self control, the likes that this world has never and will never see again? That he would be hated by many, shunned by those that should have embraced him and loved only by the sinners, the poor and the humble?
Did they know as they held the infant baby Jesus in their arms that he would one day bear the weight of the world's sins on those tiny shoulders? That he would suffer at the hand of those he came to save and give everything he had to help them? And that he would one day willingly give he last thing he had left, his life, to save those he came to serve? That they would some day see this infant child lifted up by men to suffer a death meant reserved for the worst people?
I don't know if they knew all of this when they were raising the Son of God for his mortal ministry, but I do. I am grateful of the miracle of his life from the humble beginning down to his final act of selflessness. He has given us a better gift than we will find under any tree. The miracle of his birth, the example of his life and his sacrificial death have freed us from the bonds that we could not overcome ourselves. For this I am truly grateful.
God Bless Us Every One
But did they understand the requirements that were laid at his feet from the day he was born? Did they know that they were preparing him for the perfect life he was to lead? Traveling from place to place, proclaiming his Father, healing the sick as he went and preaching repentance to the sinners? Did they know as they raised him the faith he would need to call people forth from their tomb and it be done according to his command?
Did they know that he would be despised by the wealthy and educated throughout his entire life? That he would live a life of selflessness and self control, the likes that this world has never and will never see again? That he would be hated by many, shunned by those that should have embraced him and loved only by the sinners, the poor and the humble?
Did they know as they held the infant baby Jesus in their arms that he would one day bear the weight of the world's sins on those tiny shoulders? That he would suffer at the hand of those he came to save and give everything he had to help them? And that he would one day willingly give he last thing he had left, his life, to save those he came to serve? That they would some day see this infant child lifted up by men to suffer a death meant reserved for the worst people?
I don't know if they knew all of this when they were raising the Son of God for his mortal ministry, but I do. I am grateful of the miracle of his life from the humble beginning down to his final act of selflessness. He has given us a better gift than we will find under any tree. The miracle of his birth, the example of his life and his sacrificial death have freed us from the bonds that we could not overcome ourselves. For this I am truly grateful.
God Bless Us Every One
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Post Postman Post.
I remember a time when postmen actually walked from home to home delivering letter to the eagerly waiting masses. When I was a child I remember ours pulling a 2-wheeled cart behind him as he walked around the neighborhood. He would walk up to each house and place the letters in the mailbox that was next to the front door. He knew your name, at least your last one, and usually wore a smile and greeted any he passed.
Mailmen used to be so friendly that they were often accused to being too friendly. Next to the milkman the postman was most often accused of fathering illegitimate children with happily married women than any other public servant. And reliable, with a motto "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." how can you not be. How things have changed.My current mail man is actually a woman. She drives around the neighborhood and places the letter in the mailboxes that have been placed that curb for their convenience. Our current mail-woman is so adverse to even taking a step outside her vehicle that she actually drives up on to the sidewalk so that she can reach the mailbox from the comfort of her postal deliver transportation machine.
Why do I bring this up? Well, this year we ordered several Christmas items in the mail. Since I am cheap, many of those items were delivered via United States Postal Service. Since the boxes are usually too large to fit in the mailbox I have enjoyed (not really) our mail-person's creativity in delivering the packages without having to dismount her valiant steed. One day I found the mailbox stuffed with a box that almost fit, but just required a little extra pushing to wedge it in there. It took a bit of effort to free the parcel from the box where I found all of the rest of my mail smashed into the back. Another time I found the package had been tossed on the ground at the base of the mailbox where somehow it had not been fully protected from the rain that followed.
My favorite happened just a couple days ago. I arrived from work to see a package balanced precariously on the door that was left open to support the box. I walked up to find the package was quite a bit larger than the box, and didn't even slightly fit into the mailbox. The mail-person did however secure the box by running a rubber band around the box and the door to hold the package in place. I was amazed by the amount of effort this obviously took for the post-lady to be able leave the package "in" my mailbox.
Sometimes I think this guy has the right idea...
Sometimes I think this guy has the right idea...
| Jokes.com | ||||
| Andrew Kennedy - Crazy Dad | ||||
| ||||
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tron Legacy
Yesterday I went to go see Tron Legacy. Before I start it should be noted that I did not pay to watch this movie so my views may be skewed as a results. After all, everything is better when it's free. That's why so many people beg for money rather than work for it.
Tron Legacy is the story of a computer program. The program works as hard as he can to do what he was programmed to do, but nobody can accept him for what he is. So the program decides to try to find a new place to get a fresh start where he live happily and rule with an iron fist. But his plans are cut short when he steals a disk and the cold bars of justice slammed shut on him. In the end there was a bunch of credits.
All in all a pretty good movie. The special effects were amazing. If you liked the original Tron back in 1982 you are going to love the sequel. I would be willing to bet money that next Halloween there are going to be a bunch of "Players" running around. My only regret is that I didn't get to see it in 3D. Anybody who knows me knows how I love the third dimension. It's where all the best tasting ice cream flavors come from. That's why pioneers only had one flavor of ice cream, butter flavor.
Tron Legacy is the story of a computer program. The program works as hard as he can to do what he was programmed to do, but nobody can accept him for what he is. So the program decides to try to find a new place to get a fresh start where he live happily and rule with an iron fist. But his plans are cut short when he steals a disk and the cold bars of justice slammed shut on him. In the end there was a bunch of credits.
All in all a pretty good movie. The special effects were amazing. If you liked the original Tron back in 1982 you are going to love the sequel. I would be willing to bet money that next Halloween there are going to be a bunch of "Players" running around. My only regret is that I didn't get to see it in 3D. Anybody who knows me knows how I love the third dimension. It's where all the best tasting ice cream flavors come from. That's why pioneers only had one flavor of ice cream, butter flavor.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Free at last...free at last
Yep, today was the last day before my 2 week "winter break". Oh, I'm am going to make the most of it too! I already have it all planned out.
Saturday - Stay up late
Sunday - Wake up early
Monday - Sleep in
Tuesday - Stay up later
Wednesday - Shake presents
Thursday - Snowball fight
Friday - Wonder where the week went.
Etc...
I love the holidays, but around the office it is kinda depressing. I think I realized this year that you can tell how important you are at work by the number of people that bring you Christmas treats. All you need is a baseline. Find somebody who is a big kiss up and walk over to their desk. Count the number of treats they have and compare to yourself. For instance a guy at my work received 3.5 treats to every one that I received. I'm not sure, but I think this means that brown nosing gets you 75% further in life then hard work.
I guess I should really be asking for lessons.
Saturday - Stay up late
Sunday - Wake up early
Monday - Sleep in
Tuesday - Stay up later
Wednesday - Shake presents
Thursday - Snowball fight
Friday - Wonder where the week went.
Etc...
I love the holidays, but around the office it is kinda depressing. I think I realized this year that you can tell how important you are at work by the number of people that bring you Christmas treats. All you need is a baseline. Find somebody who is a big kiss up and walk over to their desk. Count the number of treats they have and compare to yourself. For instance a guy at my work received 3.5 treats to every one that I received. I'm not sure, but I think this means that brown nosing gets you 75% further in life then hard work.
I guess I should really be asking for lessons.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
What I learned on ManTracker
I have recently become addicted to a show on the Science Channel called ManTracker. The premise is two people (the prey) are given a map and a compass and dropped in the middle of nowhere. A goal is marked on the map and if the prey can make it to that goal they win. But there is a hitch, a professional tracker on horseback, and his trusty sidekick, are hot on their heels. The tracker doesn't know where the goal is so he has to track the prey and trying catch them any way they can.
Here are the things that I have learned if you want to avoid being captured by a professional tracker.
1.) Don't just walk on the roads. Horses can run a lot faster than you can on a nice flat straight surface. Try jumping on hiking trails or better yet go off road.
2.) Voice carry. - Don't yell or even talk normally because your voice will echo through the canyons and the tracker will have good idea where you are.
3.) Don't leave tracks. - The professional tracker needs tracks to find you. The more tracks you leave the easier you make his job. Try walking on rocks and patches of grass.
4.) Don't smoke. - This is especially true when you are upwind from the professional tracker. Cigarettes have a very distinctive smell, not to mention you probably shouldn't be smoking if you are running anytime soon.
5.) Travel after the sun goes down. - Chances are the tracker has caught up to you by the end of the first day. When it starts to get dark he will find a place to make camp. In the morning the first place he is going to go is where he last saw you. Your best chance is to continue to move until it gets too dark to travel safely.
6.) Bring a second pair of shoes. - He is following your tracks. If your tracks suddenly change it might confuse him for a minute giving you the vital seconds to cross the finish line.
7.) Don't try to outrun the tracker. - When hear the clippidy clop of the trackers horse bearing down on you don't try to outrun the horse on the road. The horse will outrun you. Instead jump into any dense underbrush you can find.
8.) Don't walk along a ridge. - The shape of a human being tends to stick out again the rough shape of the mountain. Instead walk just down a bit.
9.) Never ever split up. - You only have one map and one compass. If you don't have a plan and one of you runs left and the other runs right, one of you is probably going to end up lost.
10.) After getting away don't go back to the road. - I know this seems like a no brainer, but for some reason once he is out of sight you will be overcome with the desire to return back to the road. He is waiting just around the corner.
11.) Don't doubt yourself. - If you think you heard a horse you probably did. If you thought you saw movement behind a tree you probably did.
Follow these rules and you just might get away....at least for a day or two.
Here are the things that I have learned if you want to avoid being captured by a professional tracker.
1.) Don't just walk on the roads. Horses can run a lot faster than you can on a nice flat straight surface. Try jumping on hiking trails or better yet go off road.
2.) Voice carry. - Don't yell or even talk normally because your voice will echo through the canyons and the tracker will have good idea where you are.
3.) Don't leave tracks. - The professional tracker needs tracks to find you. The more tracks you leave the easier you make his job. Try walking on rocks and patches of grass.
4.) Don't smoke. - This is especially true when you are upwind from the professional tracker. Cigarettes have a very distinctive smell, not to mention you probably shouldn't be smoking if you are running anytime soon.
5.) Travel after the sun goes down. - Chances are the tracker has caught up to you by the end of the first day. When it starts to get dark he will find a place to make camp. In the morning the first place he is going to go is where he last saw you. Your best chance is to continue to move until it gets too dark to travel safely.
6.) Bring a second pair of shoes. - He is following your tracks. If your tracks suddenly change it might confuse him for a minute giving you the vital seconds to cross the finish line.
7.) Don't try to outrun the tracker. - When hear the clippidy clop of the trackers horse bearing down on you don't try to outrun the horse on the road. The horse will outrun you. Instead jump into any dense underbrush you can find.
8.) Don't walk along a ridge. - The shape of a human being tends to stick out again the rough shape of the mountain. Instead walk just down a bit.
9.) Never ever split up. - You only have one map and one compass. If you don't have a plan and one of you runs left and the other runs right, one of you is probably going to end up lost.
10.) After getting away don't go back to the road. - I know this seems like a no brainer, but for some reason once he is out of sight you will be overcome with the desire to return back to the road. He is waiting just around the corner.
11.) Don't doubt yourself. - If you think you heard a horse you probably did. If you thought you saw movement behind a tree you probably did.
Follow these rules and you just might get away....at least for a day or two.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Super Satellite Soaker
We have been getting some snow creeping in lately. Nothing sticking to the ground or anything, just enough to remind us what is coming. We were watching TV the other night and "Walking Dead" was about to come on. It's a show about zombies, so you know Wendi isn't going to miss it.
Well the snow started to stick to the satellite dish and interrupted our TV watching. What to do? It's not like I'm going to climb up on the roof to clean it off. Then the light bulb went off. My super soaker squirt gun can shoot water 15-20 feet. So I filled it with hot water and stood in my back yard and hosed it down. It worked like a charm, and I didn't even have to die.
Once again one of my toys saves the day. Usually it's a G.I. Joe or my xbox, but I'm just glad I can finally mark "shoot something with a water gun in the winter" off my list.
I think I need to re-evaluate my list.
Well the snow started to stick to the satellite dish and interrupted our TV watching. What to do? It's not like I'm going to climb up on the roof to clean it off. Then the light bulb went off. My super soaker squirt gun can shoot water 15-20 feet. So I filled it with hot water and stood in my back yard and hosed it down. It worked like a charm, and I didn't even have to die.
Once again one of my toys saves the day. Usually it's a G.I. Joe or my xbox, but I'm just glad I can finally mark "shoot something with a water gun in the winter" off my list.
I think I need to re-evaluate my list.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
12 I have...who'll go 13?
Well, it happened today. The relationship that Wendi and I share has passed another milestone. Our marriage turned 12 today. I don't know why, but it's weird to think about it like that. It seems like she has pretty much always been a part of my life. The listening ear when I have had a rough day at work. The one who laughs at all my lame jokes. The only person of the face of the planet that I don't think I could live without.
Apparently Jen and Todd's baby wanted to celebrate our anniversary too and he decided to be born today. So we spent half of our anniversary doing romantic things like feeding Taven. He was an angel though so it wasn't bad at all. I sure hope I'm not spilling the beans by announcing that they had their baby. If you haven't heard by now then you probably aren't as good of friends with them as you thought :-)
We did do some romantic stuff. We drove around to 3 different restaurants and got our favorite foods (within a 10 mile radius) and brought it back to the house. Then we watched Toy Story 3. Much better than number 2 if you are wondering. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up. Don't worry, I will give a full review on it tomorrow or some other time.
Strangely enough, we also shared our anniversary with a law. I don't know how many people can say that, but you can now count us among that elite few. Alright, it may be a bit of a stretch, but the law I am referring to is Time. Today is daylight savings. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it is the day where just about everybody, who doesn't live in Arizona, turns their clocks forward or backward one hour. This is done to compensate for the earth shifting on its axis which causes the sun to not set at the same time. All it really proves to do anymore is cause people to be late, or early, to their appointments for the following day. Usually church is a ghost chapel.
All in all a pretty good day. New life entered the world, old life continues together in the world and a heavenly body gets to expose itself a little earlier in the morning. Not too shabby if I may say so myself.
I think I'll have some Cheetos.
Apparently Jen and Todd's baby wanted to celebrate our anniversary too and he decided to be born today. So we spent half of our anniversary doing romantic things like feeding Taven. He was an angel though so it wasn't bad at all. I sure hope I'm not spilling the beans by announcing that they had their baby. If you haven't heard by now then you probably aren't as good of friends with them as you thought :-)
We did do some romantic stuff. We drove around to 3 different restaurants and got our favorite foods (within a 10 mile radius) and brought it back to the house. Then we watched Toy Story 3. Much better than number 2 if you are wondering. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up. Don't worry, I will give a full review on it tomorrow or some other time.
Strangely enough, we also shared our anniversary with a law. I don't know how many people can say that, but you can now count us among that elite few. Alright, it may be a bit of a stretch, but the law I am referring to is Time. Today is daylight savings. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it is the day where just about everybody, who doesn't live in Arizona, turns their clocks forward or backward one hour. This is done to compensate for the earth shifting on its axis which causes the sun to not set at the same time. All it really proves to do anymore is cause people to be late, or early, to their appointments for the following day. Usually church is a ghost chapel.
All in all a pretty good day. New life entered the world, old life continues together in the world and a heavenly body gets to expose itself a little earlier in the morning. Not too shabby if I may say so myself.
I think I'll have some Cheetos.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Zombie Monday Shopping
I'm pretty sure that everybody has heard of Black Friday but have you ever heard of Zombie Monday? Well, I just now made it up so I'm guessing no, but it's gonna take off, I have a sense for these things.
Well, that's what we did today. We headed out at the crack of dawn (10:30 am) and hit up all of the Halloween stores. They are all having their 50% off sales so we stocked up for next year. I only have one thing to say...It's. And a few more...gonna be awesome!!! We ended up spending quite a bit, but we got almost everything that we were eyeing for Halloween this year. Everything but the fog machine, unfortunately they were all gone. So if anybody is wondering what to get us for Halloween think San Francisco in the morning.
We also got to learn how big of jerks our insurance company is. My doctor recommends a procedure and the specialist agrees. But the insurance company, in all its wisdom, decides without any education whatsoever that the procedure is not necessary. The amazing thing is that the procedure wouldn't cost them a dime. Simply appalling. And insurance companies wonder why America thinks that socialized medicine sounds good. It's because you are so damned worried about making money that you don't care about your customers. Unfortunately, the government being in charge won't really fix that either. Just ask Canada. It looks like I get to write one of my now famous letters to appeal the decision.
In answer to the question on everybody's mind who is reading this...I will be a ninja next year. I can't wait.
Well, that's what we did today. We headed out at the crack of dawn (10:30 am) and hit up all of the Halloween stores. They are all having their 50% off sales so we stocked up for next year. I only have one thing to say...It's. And a few more...gonna be awesome!!! We ended up spending quite a bit, but we got almost everything that we were eyeing for Halloween this year. Everything but the fog machine, unfortunately they were all gone. So if anybody is wondering what to get us for Halloween think San Francisco in the morning.
We also got to learn how big of jerks our insurance company is. My doctor recommends a procedure and the specialist agrees. But the insurance company, in all its wisdom, decides without any education whatsoever that the procedure is not necessary. The amazing thing is that the procedure wouldn't cost them a dime. Simply appalling. And insurance companies wonder why America thinks that socialized medicine sounds good. It's because you are so damned worried about making money that you don't care about your customers. Unfortunately, the government being in charge won't really fix that either. Just ask Canada. It looks like I get to write one of my now famous letters to appeal the decision.
In answer to the question on everybody's mind who is reading this...I will be a ninja next year. I can't wait.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Wendi the Vampire Slayer
I've decided that I like having Wendi around. She is really good at just about everything she tries. Cake decorating, scrap booking, hair cutting, cooking, etc. But she has a dark side too. Wendi loves Halloween, in fact it's her favorite holiday. Zombies, Vampires, Werewolves and ghosts are all important pieces of the Halloween appeal.
Every year we watch almost every television show on these subjects. The most haunted places on earth, Zombie apocalypse and monster discovery shows. Wendi is probably the most knowledgeable person I know on these subjects. If there is ever a virus that start bringing the dead back to life, I feel confident that my wife will know exactly what to do to survive it.
I saw something on TV lately that I am thinking that I need to get for Wendi. An auction show on the Discovery Channel recently had a vampire slaying kit. I'm thinking that this might be something we need to add to our 72 hour kit. If anybody could put this to good use it's Wendi.
I guess if I'm going to get this then I should probably invest in some Hazmat suits, an EMF detector and some silver bullets. I guess no price is too great for peace of mind, eh? Maybe Wendi can even start holding classes on these subjects and maybe eventually offer some sort of insurance or protection service against such attacks. We could make a slaying!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Not all that glitters...
Wendi sent me an IM today telling me about a new Barbie she saw a commercial for. I have to wonder what the focus groups were thinking with this one. Any parent who lets their kid ask for one of these from Santa is going to be sooooo sorry.
Without further ado, I introduce to you the new Barbie Loves Glitter doll.
This barbie includes everything seen here, a barber chair , a curling iron and a blow dryer. Sounds like the perfect gift for the young Barbie lover in your house. But this doll has a secret added bonus. Wait for it...the blow drying really blows air and with a flick of a switch glitter. Yes that's right, for just $25 a kid in your house could have in their hand a convenient glitter dispensing device.
You know how easy glitter is to get off of your. Now just imagine it all over your house. On your door knobs, couches, telephones, refrigerator and everything else you child touches. Yeah, good luck ever getting that glitter out of your house. You would pretty much have to rip out all of the carpet and have a has-mat team come in to clean it to get most of it. You may as well burn your house to the ground since that is pretty much the only way you will ever leave the house without glitter on you somewhere, and it will probably be on your face somewhere like always.
I can just see it now.... a brother is tormenting his sister and gets his grubby little hands on the dryer. She's screaming for him to give it back "Mommy, Billy won't give me my toy!!". He decides to take it to the next level and points the dryer at her and pulls the trigger. Next thing you know your daughter has an eye full of glitter.
Thanks for blinding my child, Barbie!!
Without further ado, I introduce to you the new Barbie Loves Glitter doll.
This barbie includes everything seen here, a barber chair , a curling iron and a blow dryer. Sounds like the perfect gift for the young Barbie lover in your house. But this doll has a secret added bonus. Wait for it...the blow drying really blows air and with a flick of a switch glitter. Yes that's right, for just $25 a kid in your house could have in their hand a convenient glitter dispensing device.
You know how easy glitter is to get off of your. Now just imagine it all over your house. On your door knobs, couches, telephones, refrigerator and everything else you child touches. Yeah, good luck ever getting that glitter out of your house. You would pretty much have to rip out all of the carpet and have a has-mat team come in to clean it to get most of it. You may as well burn your house to the ground since that is pretty much the only way you will ever leave the house without glitter on you somewhere, and it will probably be on your face somewhere like always.
I can just see it now.... a brother is tormenting his sister and gets his grubby little hands on the dryer. She's screaming for him to give it back "Mommy, Billy won't give me my toy!!". He decides to take it to the next level and points the dryer at her and pulls the trigger. Next thing you know your daughter has an eye full of glitter.
Thanks for blinding my child, Barbie!!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
The Birthday Job
My wife is a pretty amazing woman. Today was her birthday you know. At our age birthdays get increasingly less exciting and almost dreaded at time. That must be why we get presents, to add some silver lining.
Well, this birthday was a little different. My cousin, who we haven't seen all summer, called me up and asked me if Wendi would appreciate a surprise visit on her birthday. It was an awesome idea to surprise Wendi with so we started planning the surprise. Well things didn't work out and the trip was in jeopardy of getting canceled, but like a champ my cousin came through and the trip was back on.
I also learned that my Uncle (who is almost like a father to me) was also going to be in town this weekend. Could it be possible? A double surprise birthday visit from our Arizona loved ones? It was almost too much to wish for.
It was a tough secret to keep, and apparently I didn't do a good enough job at hiding my excitement as I found out later that Wendi "knew something was up". I think she just plain knows me too well.
So we scheduled early dinne,r with my cousin that lives in town, at Tucanos. It's practically a tradition for us all to eat there now. Right before we are about to leave there is a knock at the door. Somehow the door got locked and the person was unable to enter so Wendi had to go open the door. There stood Wayne in all his surprise glory bearing gifts. Yes, Wendi cried. I was so proud of myself, and grateful to Wayne for making this happen for her.
But there was still one more surprise. I was worried that somebody would mention something but everything went perfect as I could have every hoped for. Jen and Todd, along with my secret aunt and uncle surprise, made it to Tucanos before us. We showed up a bit later because of BYU traffic and they had already been seated. We were looking through the restaraunt looking for them and when we turned the corner...BAM... surprise number 2. My Uncle Roy and Aunt Ruth were there waiting for us to join them. It was so perfect.
In the end, what could have turned out to be a normal hum-drum birthday turned out to be one of the most memorable birthdays to date. We got to spend much of the day with my Aunt, Uncle, two of my Cousins and their families. In a word, it was Amazing!!
I would like to thank Wayne, Roy, Ruth, Linda, Todd and Jen for making this birthday so special. You have given Wendi a better birthday gift than I ever could. And I doubt that I will ever be able to top this one. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Well, this birthday was a little different. My cousin, who we haven't seen all summer, called me up and asked me if Wendi would appreciate a surprise visit on her birthday. It was an awesome idea to surprise Wendi with so we started planning the surprise. Well things didn't work out and the trip was in jeopardy of getting canceled, but like a champ my cousin came through and the trip was back on.
I also learned that my Uncle (who is almost like a father to me) was also going to be in town this weekend. Could it be possible? A double surprise birthday visit from our Arizona loved ones? It was almost too much to wish for.
It was a tough secret to keep, and apparently I didn't do a good enough job at hiding my excitement as I found out later that Wendi "knew something was up". I think she just plain knows me too well.
So we scheduled early dinne,r with my cousin that lives in town, at Tucanos. It's practically a tradition for us all to eat there now. Right before we are about to leave there is a knock at the door. Somehow the door got locked and the person was unable to enter so Wendi had to go open the door. There stood Wayne in all his surprise glory bearing gifts. Yes, Wendi cried. I was so proud of myself, and grateful to Wayne for making this happen for her.
But there was still one more surprise. I was worried that somebody would mention something but everything went perfect as I could have every hoped for. Jen and Todd, along with my secret aunt and uncle surprise, made it to Tucanos before us. We showed up a bit later because of BYU traffic and they had already been seated. We were looking through the restaraunt looking for them and when we turned the corner...BAM... surprise number 2. My Uncle Roy and Aunt Ruth were there waiting for us to join them. It was so perfect.
In the end, what could have turned out to be a normal hum-drum birthday turned out to be one of the most memorable birthdays to date. We got to spend much of the day with my Aunt, Uncle, two of my Cousins and their families. In a word, it was Amazing!!
I would like to thank Wayne, Roy, Ruth, Linda, Todd and Jen for making this birthday so special. You have given Wendi a better birthday gift than I ever could. And I doubt that I will ever be able to top this one. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Why Pepsi is better than Coke.
Everybody who is anybody has enjoyed a soft drink once in their life. And whether you drank it because you wanted to fit in with the new generation or because you think polar bears know which cola tastes best, you had to choose one for yourself.
It seems to me that most restaurants have chosen Coca-Cola products over Pepsi products. It may have something to do with the discounted price that Coke is willing to give them on supplies. It may also have something to do with polar bears. Who is to say really?
To all you restaurant owners out there I would like to present to you why you should carry Pepsi products instead of Coke.
~ Reason #1 - Mountain Dew
It is so refreshing and delicious. Coke doesn't have it. It doesn't have anything like it. Okay, somebody will probably try to argue "but Coke makes 'Mellow Yellow' which is almost the same thing!" Well I have one thing to say to you surfer shirt wearing, parachute pants owning, nancy boy...PUT DOWN THE NINTENDO JOYSTICK AND GO OUTSIDE ONCE IN AWHILE!! While you're at it take a bath, you smell like the 80's died in your arms tonight.
~ Reason #2 - Same Flavors
In case you haven't noticed they both have similar tasting soft drink flavors. This is because whenever Pepsi comes up with a new flavor (Cola for instance) Coke immediately gets to work copying it. Here is a small sampling.
Coke Pepsi
Coca-Cola--------------Pepsi
Diet Coke--------------Diet Pepsi
Cherry Coke-----------Pepsi Wild Cherry
Mr. Pibb---------------Dr. Pepper
Sprite------------------7 Up
Barq's Root Beer-------Mug Root Beer
Diet Coke--------------Diet Pepsi
Cherry Coke-----------Pepsi Wild Cherry
Mr. Pibb---------------Dr. Pepper
Sprite------------------7 Up
Barq's Root Beer-------Mug Root Beer
~ Reason #3 - Blind Taste Test
Blind testers don't lie. They say that when you loose one of your 6 senses your others ones heighten to compensate. That's why they use the blind for taste testing, that and they can't cheat by looking at the cans.
In a recent taste test 50% of the people chose Pepsi. I'll let you think about that for a minute. How much money would you make if half of the people in the world bought Pepsi from your restaurant?
~ Reason #4 - Patriotism
These days we need to band together and support US companies and US jobs. You don't get much more American that Pepsi. They slap the colors of the American flag on every can. It's like a delicious glass of freedom chilled in the Rockies in every glass. What does Coke have to say about that? What do they have on their cans? That's right, red and white. That sounds more like the Japanese flag to me, and we all know who they supported in WW2. That's just a tall glass of sadness right there.
~ Reason #5 - The Magic Word
Somebody once taught me that if somebody asks nicely you should do it. I don't remember who, but that isn't really what's important here. I would like to take this opportunity to ask you, the restaurant owners, a question. Pretty please, with sugar and whip cream and cherries and chocolate on top, will you please carry Pepsi products in your restaurant please?
I appreciate your efforts in making this country a better place to eat, and I know you will make the right decision.
Sincerely,
James
James
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
What I did last summer is...
What I did last summer.
I stayed in a lot playing video games. Call of Duty, Modern Warfare II came out and I earned enough doing odd jobs to buy it. Me and my brother and my friend played it lots. I also got Starcraft II and played that a lot too. I'm pretty good at both as usual.
I also tried working on my car. I'm not as good at that.
I went with my family to Lagoon. It was crowded. Lots of people were walking around and standing in lines waiting for rides. The Tigers were very sad. The train was very slow. We had fun.
I had a birthday. We had a party. My best friends came over to give me presents and eat my cake. It was fun to play with my friends.
We went to Saint George with my Brother. It was hot. We visited Brigham Young's house. He wasn't there. We learned that Saint George was named after a guy named George Albert Smith. He had been given the nickname "Potato Saint" at the time. I'm glad my nickname is Captain Awesome instead. I swimmed in the pool every day.
I worked a lot. My brain hurts from all of the work.
In conclusion my summer was fun. I only wish that I could have dug up a dinosaur bone like my goal was. Maybe next year.
I stayed in a lot playing video games. Call of Duty, Modern Warfare II came out and I earned enough doing odd jobs to buy it. Me and my brother and my friend played it lots. I also got Starcraft II and played that a lot too. I'm pretty good at both as usual.
I also tried working on my car. I'm not as good at that.
I went with my family to Lagoon. It was crowded. Lots of people were walking around and standing in lines waiting for rides. The Tigers were very sad. The train was very slow. We had fun.
I had a birthday. We had a party. My best friends came over to give me presents and eat my cake. It was fun to play with my friends.
We went to Saint George with my Brother. It was hot. We visited Brigham Young's house. He wasn't there. We learned that Saint George was named after a guy named George Albert Smith. He had been given the nickname "Potato Saint" at the time. I'm glad my nickname is Captain Awesome instead. I swimmed in the pool every day.
I worked a lot. My brain hurts from all of the work.
In conclusion my summer was fun. I only wish that I could have dug up a dinosaur bone like my goal was. Maybe next year.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
There may be a slight ringing in your ears...
Well, we are in St. George. We drove down with my Brother and are staying in his in-laws vacation home. It's really hot here. You could say "It's hotter than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest," but if you did people would no doubt look at you strangely.
On the drive down I learned something about my car manufacturer. For the record, we drive a Nissan (Pathfinder). I don't think that they understand that the dash warnings, and they associated sounds should reflect the severity of the issue that they are warning the driver of.
Take for instance your oil leaks out, probably should start flashing red and a scary alarm sound to let you know that you need to stop ASAFP!! But on the other hand, lets just use tire pressure just for kicks. Sure a warning light to let you know about it, but if any warning probably a quick quiet beep to let you know.
So we are driving...we are driving along and having a grand time. We are talking about this and that and laughing about that funny joke that Johnny Carson said last night....WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!! THIS HIGH PITCHED SQUEAL IS UNLEASHED WITHIN THE CABIN WHICH CAUSES ME TO JERK THE WHEEL TO THE RIGHT. When I catch my breath and get back on the road I notice that my tire pressure light has been lit. "Ohhh good, I thought maybe we were on fire" I thought to myself.
So we are driving along talking about how we almost lost our lives because of a stupid tire pressure wHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN ANOTHER 20 SECOND BEEP IS ONCE AGAIN INFLICTED ON ITS OCCUPANTS. It's a good thing that there is not one, but two ear piercing warnings just to make sure that the driver knows that they are in dire need of checking their tire pressure or they are taking their lives into their hands. Thank you Nissan, your foresight and judgment is truly an inspiration.
On the drive down I learned something about my car manufacturer. For the record, we drive a Nissan (Pathfinder). I don't think that they understand that the dash warnings, and they associated sounds should reflect the severity of the issue that they are warning the driver of.
Take for instance your oil leaks out, probably should start flashing red and a scary alarm sound to let you know that you need to stop ASAFP!! But on the other hand, lets just use tire pressure just for kicks. Sure a warning light to let you know about it, but if any warning probably a quick quiet beep to let you know.
So we are driving...we are driving along and having a grand time. We are talking about this and that and laughing about that funny joke that Johnny Carson said last night....WHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!! THIS HIGH PITCHED SQUEAL IS UNLEASHED WITHIN THE CABIN WHICH CAUSES ME TO JERK THE WHEEL TO THE RIGHT. When I catch my breath and get back on the road I notice that my tire pressure light has been lit. "Ohhh good, I thought maybe we were on fire" I thought to myself.
So we are driving along talking about how we almost lost our lives because of a stupid tire pressure wHEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN ANOTHER 20 SECOND BEEP IS ONCE AGAIN INFLICTED ON ITS OCCUPANTS. It's a good thing that there is not one, but two ear piercing warnings just to make sure that the driver knows that they are in dire need of checking their tire pressure or they are taking their lives into their hands. Thank you Nissan, your foresight and judgment is truly an inspiration.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
An overpowering thirst
I love my dogs. We have two of them. They bring so much joy on a daily basis. I cannot imagine living without them. Today my wife turns to me and says "Trixie is hilarious!" Apparently now I'm competing with my dog for my wife's laughs.
Everything is so simple with them. I'm hungry...I'm happy...I'm excited...I'm scared. Sometimes I wish things could be so simple.
Toby is on a diet so "I'm hungry" seems to occupy his his simple mind quite a lot. When we feed him his rations he scarfs them down in an amazing display of speed and graceful mess making. Often time pieces of food go flying from his dish from the frantic consumption and once he is done he has to go find them. Today Wendi fed him and I heard him scarfing it down, then I heard him drinking water. Not really an uncommon occurrence, but he kept drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking.
I looked over at him drinking wondering why he was suddenly so thirsty. Wendi pointed out that a piece of his food flew into his water bowl while he ate. I watched as he repeatedly lapped up water from the bowl trying to get that one tiny piece of food that he had pinned in the corner of his dish. With each lap he failed to successfully retrieve the tiny morsel of delicious food, which continued to float there as if mocking him.
It was as if he could only see that one tiny piece of food floating in his water. Finally Wendi had pity on him and she reached in and fished the food out of his water dish. He licked it up and it was gone as was his apparent unquenchable thirst. Maybe I need to look into my water dish and see what juicy morsel I should be pursuing.
Everything is so simple with them. I'm hungry...I'm happy...I'm excited...I'm scared. Sometimes I wish things could be so simple.
Toby is on a diet so "I'm hungry" seems to occupy his his simple mind quite a lot. When we feed him his rations he scarfs them down in an amazing display of speed and graceful mess making. Often time pieces of food go flying from his dish from the frantic consumption and once he is done he has to go find them. Today Wendi fed him and I heard him scarfing it down, then I heard him drinking water. Not really an uncommon occurrence, but he kept drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking.
I looked over at him drinking wondering why he was suddenly so thirsty. Wendi pointed out that a piece of his food flew into his water bowl while he ate. I watched as he repeatedly lapped up water from the bowl trying to get that one tiny piece of food that he had pinned in the corner of his dish. With each lap he failed to successfully retrieve the tiny morsel of delicious food, which continued to float there as if mocking him.
It was as if he could only see that one tiny piece of food floating in his water. Finally Wendi had pity on him and she reached in and fished the food out of his water dish. He licked it up and it was gone as was his apparent unquenchable thirst. Maybe I need to look into my water dish and see what juicy morsel I should be pursuing.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
A picture is worth...
So...if you haven't noticed I have been MIA lately. I guess I owe you a decent blog entry to catch up....or...
.jpg)
We had a pretty amazing storm blow through this afternoon so I ran outside and started snapping pictures...
I don't really fancy myself a photogenotographer or anything but I figured if I kept pushing the button the odds were in my favor.
So what's that now, 3000 words? In conclusion...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
It's Elementery
Last night we found out how long it takes to drive to the Megaplex 20 in West Jordan. It was 10 minutes to 9:00 PM and I was playing a video game when I suddenly had a thought and blurted out "We should have gone to see a movie tonight." My wife "We still can." Me "We would have to hurry." It turned out that there was a showing of "Avatar: The Last Airbender" in 3D at 9:20 (approx 30 minutes). So we bought our tickets online, threw on some shoes, jumped in the car and were on our way to Salt Lake within 10 minutes.
I was trying to drive quickly, without risking a ticket. I was also going over the first Avatar movie, I had seen in 2009, in my mind. For the record it took about 27 minutes to drive to West Jordan, get our tickets, get to our theater, find some 3D glasses and take our seats. 7 minutes is pretty much the same amount of time it takes to get through all of the previews so it worked out pretty much perfect.
I have to say I was surprised that they had already made a sequel of Avatar since they just released the last one on video not that long ago. I may never understand why, but they recasted all of the actors, changed the setting completely, and started the story in a way that it didn't even pick up where the other one left off. The only thing I can think is they are doing some fancy film school thing like Star Wars where you go back in time to show how they got where they were in the last one. I guess I am just not sophisticated enough for the type of thing as I had difficulty following it. I finally decided to forget the first Avatar and just enjoy this one as it's own film. I figured I would have weeks to figure out how they go together after the movie is over.
The Last Airbender is the tale of a 100 year temper tantrum. King Air decides to grow up and finds out that Prince Fire no longer needs Air. King Air decides to join up with Princess Water (who is sporting a surprisingly falic hair doo...really...check it out), the arch enemy of Fire of course, to douse the flame of elementism. By the end of the movie King Air has learned to make his tattoos glow and princess water has died her hair darker.
I was a bit disappointed in the "3D". I really didn't compare to the first Avatar movie. I kept feeling like I was not seeing much "3D Action" so I kept pulling my glasses off and sure enough it wasn't. At least they had the decency to make it so the whole movie was visible through the 3D glasses unlike Superman....LAME. The movie went by fast though and the special effects were amazing.
I was trying to drive quickly, without risking a ticket. I was also going over the first Avatar movie, I had seen in 2009, in my mind. For the record it took about 27 minutes to drive to West Jordan, get our tickets, get to our theater, find some 3D glasses and take our seats. 7 minutes is pretty much the same amount of time it takes to get through all of the previews so it worked out pretty much perfect.
I have to say I was surprised that they had already made a sequel of Avatar since they just released the last one on video not that long ago. I may never understand why, but they recasted all of the actors, changed the setting completely, and started the story in a way that it didn't even pick up where the other one left off. The only thing I can think is they are doing some fancy film school thing like Star Wars where you go back in time to show how they got where they were in the last one. I guess I am just not sophisticated enough for the type of thing as I had difficulty following it. I finally decided to forget the first Avatar and just enjoy this one as it's own film. I figured I would have weeks to figure out how they go together after the movie is over.
The Last Airbender is the tale of a 100 year temper tantrum. King Air decides to grow up and finds out that Prince Fire no longer needs Air. King Air decides to join up with Princess Water (who is sporting a surprisingly falic hair doo...really...check it out), the arch enemy of Fire of course, to douse the flame of elementism. By the end of the movie King Air has learned to make his tattoos glow and princess water has died her hair darker.
I was a bit disappointed in the "3D". I really didn't compare to the first Avatar movie. I kept feeling like I was not seeing much "3D Action" so I kept pulling my glasses off and sure enough it wasn't. At least they had the decency to make it so the whole movie was visible through the 3D glasses unlike Superman....LAME. The movie went by fast though and the special effects were amazing.
Friday, July 9, 2010
RattleSnake Rapidly Soaked
I got to spend my Independence Day weekend with a few of my cousins this year. It was something we don't get to do very often, but something I do hope we can make happen more frequently. Usually I only get to see my cousins whenever there is a wedding or funeral so it was nice to just get together and have fun this time.
We went to Lagoon on Friday. We did have to break a few speed limits to get there in time to take advantage of the $5.00 off coupons and free drink coupons, but only some buy in front of us got nabbed by the cops so no harm done.
We spent the first half of the day taking my cousins to the kiddie rides. Oh, they had so much fun. We started them off easy with a simple little whale ride that just goes up and down like a see-saw but soon they were riding the wild kiddie rides over and over. By the end of the day my Cousin was dragging her dad on to some big kid rids that even I wouldn't go on. they would come off the rides with the biggest grins you ever saw. It was soooo worth it!
I didn't ride my myself except for the bumper cars of course. I love the bumper cars. I got some good rams in on my cousins and visa-versa. We also went on the save Ferris wheel. I was having second thoughts while we were still in line but I brushed them off. We rod the Ferris wheel up to the top and it is really high. I also didn't know before hand, but the Ferris wheel is kinda like the tea cups at Disney land in that there is a wheel in the middle so you spin the carriage...as if being 10 stories off the ground with only 2 bolds between you and certain death wasn't enough.
We ended the day by riding the rapids of the rattlesnake. The girls caught the brunt of the waterfall so I couldn't really ask for more there. Then we had ice cream. Yeah, it doesn't really get much better does it? Last 4th of July will go down as one of the best July 4ths I have ever had. I'm so glad they all made the trip up here.
We went to Lagoon on Friday. We did have to break a few speed limits to get there in time to take advantage of the $5.00 off coupons and free drink coupons, but only some buy in front of us got nabbed by the cops so no harm done.
We spent the first half of the day taking my cousins to the kiddie rides. Oh, they had so much fun. We started them off easy with a simple little whale ride that just goes up and down like a see-saw but soon they were riding the wild kiddie rides over and over. By the end of the day my Cousin was dragging her dad on to some big kid rids that even I wouldn't go on. they would come off the rides with the biggest grins you ever saw. It was soooo worth it!
I didn't ride my myself except for the bumper cars of course. I love the bumper cars. I got some good rams in on my cousins and visa-versa. We also went on the save Ferris wheel. I was having second thoughts while we were still in line but I brushed them off. We rod the Ferris wheel up to the top and it is really high. I also didn't know before hand, but the Ferris wheel is kinda like the tea cups at Disney land in that there is a wheel in the middle so you spin the carriage...as if being 10 stories off the ground with only 2 bolds between you and certain death wasn't enough.
We ended the day by riding the rapids of the rattlesnake. The girls caught the brunt of the waterfall so I couldn't really ask for more there. Then we had ice cream. Yeah, it doesn't really get much better does it? Last 4th of July will go down as one of the best July 4ths I have ever had. I'm so glad they all made the trip up here.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Motorcycle Momma
I have been around the block a few times, so when I see something that I have never seen before I have take it in. Since it seems to be happening less and less I find myself savoring those moments and almost making mental snapshot of the incident. Well as luck would have it I had one of those moments recently.
Wendi had run into a local business and I remained behind in the car as usual. Main street and its traffic was passing me by. It finally got warm enough for all of the motorcycle enthusiast to bless us with their antics. You would think that we have motorcycle gangs sometimes, but I digress.
Many times the man will drive and the woman will sit on the small seat behind him (often called the "female dog" seat). If the woman is really in to it the couple will invest in a 2nd bike so that they can ride side by side making eyes at each other. The latter is the scenario that I observed on this particular occasion. Neither the man or the woman was wearing any protective gear, which in and of itself wouldn't be such a big deal except for that the lady was PREGNANT!!! Yeah, and not just a little pregnant like 7 months along big and pregnant.
I'll just go ahead and give that a bit to soak in.
Wendi had run into a local business and I remained behind in the car as usual. Main street and its traffic was passing me by. It finally got warm enough for all of the motorcycle enthusiast to bless us with their antics. You would think that we have motorcycle gangs sometimes, but I digress.
Many times the man will drive and the woman will sit on the small seat behind him (often called the "female dog" seat). If the woman is really in to it the couple will invest in a 2nd bike so that they can ride side by side making eyes at each other. The latter is the scenario that I observed on this particular occasion. Neither the man or the woman was wearing any protective gear, which in and of itself wouldn't be such a big deal except for that the lady was PREGNANT!!! Yeah, and not just a little pregnant like 7 months along big and pregnant.
I'll just go ahead and give that a bit to soak in.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Driving Mrs. Craisy
Utah drivers are bad. Okay, in my opinion Utah drivers can generally be classified as bad. That of course does not encompass everybody, and I do try to take into consideration that everybody has “bad driver” moments. I, like everybody else, consider myself a good driver. I use my turn signals, I come to a complete stop, I drive defensively. I even take it upon myself to help other drivers improve. For the last several years I have been on a one-man mission to “change the world one finger at a time”. But I kid….kinda.
Today we ventured out of our sanctuary out in to the world. As you might have guessed, I did not go well. Luckily I was able to convince Wendi to drive (yes I know that means she wears the pants in the relationship) or I would have probably blown a gasket. I was already yelling at the people (as if they could hear me through my windshield) and shaking my head in disgust. Let’s just say it’s probably a good think I’m not a police officer or there would have been handing out tickets written on napkins by the end of the day.
Okay, so here is the most amazing of the horrible driving stories from today. We were driving on State St. and reached the light for Main St. Utahans have a bad habit of running the left turn light since the delay between that light and the oncoming green gives some leeway. Well this light was no exception and one more car went through than probably should have and then our whole line of traffic started through the intersection. Suddenly Lil’ Miss 10 seconds later decides the light is still orange and heads through the intersection. So 10 cars got to slam on the breaks to let Sister Colorblind squeeze through that particular light. I would have thought that the wall of cars coming at her would at least have slowed her down but no…she was like Han Solo yelling “Punch it Chewie!” Who names their kid Chewie anyway? Now, if by chance you happen to think I’m exaggerating this story this should put it in to perspective for you. My wife, who is pretty easy going as far as drivers goes, honked at the lady to let her know she did not appreciate her shenanigans. Yes, SHE HONKED!! I don't know if the lady could hear the honk over my yelling but she still did it.
I could go on but I’m not even going to tell you about the lady who was texting on her cell phone while driving through construction where the lanes shifted but she did not. Oh crap, you totally tricked me in to telling you anyway. You are a tricky one! I can tell I’m going to have to keep my good eye on you. I don’t know…LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Today we ventured out of our sanctuary out in to the world. As you might have guessed, I did not go well. Luckily I was able to convince Wendi to drive (yes I know that means she wears the pants in the relationship) or I would have probably blown a gasket. I was already yelling at the people (as if they could hear me through my windshield) and shaking my head in disgust. Let’s just say it’s probably a good think I’m not a police officer or there would have been handing out tickets written on napkins by the end of the day.
Okay, so here is the most amazing of the horrible driving stories from today. We were driving on State St. and reached the light for Main St. Utahans have a bad habit of running the left turn light since the delay between that light and the oncoming green gives some leeway. Well this light was no exception and one more car went through than probably should have and then our whole line of traffic started through the intersection. Suddenly Lil’ Miss 10 seconds later decides the light is still orange and heads through the intersection. So 10 cars got to slam on the breaks to let Sister Colorblind squeeze through that particular light. I would have thought that the wall of cars coming at her would at least have slowed her down but no…she was like Han Solo yelling “Punch it Chewie!” Who names their kid Chewie anyway? Now, if by chance you happen to think I’m exaggerating this story this should put it in to perspective for you. My wife, who is pretty easy going as far as drivers goes, honked at the lady to let her know she did not appreciate her shenanigans. Yes, SHE HONKED!! I don't know if the lady could hear the honk over my yelling but she still did it.
I could go on but I’m not even going to tell you about the lady who was texting on her cell phone while driving through construction where the lanes shifted but she did not. Oh crap, you totally tricked me in to telling you anyway. You are a tricky one! I can tell I’m going to have to keep my good eye on you. I don’t know…LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Friday, June 11, 2010
The Itsy Bitsy Spider...
I do not like bees. I know, they serve a vital purpose and it's really nothing personal. Really it's any insect that has wings and a stinger that flies in my face, or worse in my soda, when I am trying to enjoy the outdoors. Other insects that fall in to this category include, but is not limited to, wasps, hornets, yellow jackets and all types of bees, hereafter referred to as "Killer Bees".
This area of weakness has become yet another adversity that my wife and I have been able to turn in to a bonding area. You see my wife has the same feeling about spiders, so we made a deal...she shoos away all of the flying biting/stinging insects and I crush all of the 8 legged intruders that she finds. We have learned to rely on each other in our times of great distress which has made us grow closer together. I *sniff* know, right?
Once I made the mistake of telling Wendi that spiders do not fall. Even when upside-down on the celling they are able to hold on to even the smoothest surfaces. I said this because it was bed time and I was tired and Wendi had spotted a spider above our bed on the ceiling. I no sooner said this and the spider fell off the ceiling an on to our bed (either that or it camouflaged itself to keep from getting squished). We spent the next 20 minutes tearing the bed apart to try and find the spider but to no avail. Wendi didn't sleep well that night and I learned a valuable lesson. Spiders make mistakes too.
Ever since then it has become somewhat of a joke in our house. Whenever Wendi finds a spider on the ceiling she announces it to me "spider on the ceiling in the hallway!" I then inform her not to worry because spiders do not fall. Well, Today we were in the bathroom when Eagle Eye Wendi spies a tiny ,slightly off-white colored, spider on the ceiling and refused to walk under it. I do my thing and she laughs like she is supposed to. I couldn't reach the spider so in order to prove my point I started dancing under the spider. Not 2 second into my very manly dance and Wendi cups her hand to her mouth and yells "It Fell". I looked up and was directly above me descending on an invisible line towards my face. NOT COOL!!! That spider is dead now.
Let this serve as a warning to all spiders everywhere...when in doubt stay outside!!
This area of weakness has become yet another adversity that my wife and I have been able to turn in to a bonding area. You see my wife has the same feeling about spiders, so we made a deal...she shoos away all of the flying biting/stinging insects and I crush all of the 8 legged intruders that she finds. We have learned to rely on each other in our times of great distress which has made us grow closer together. I *sniff* know, right?
Once I made the mistake of telling Wendi that spiders do not fall. Even when upside-down on the celling they are able to hold on to even the smoothest surfaces. I said this because it was bed time and I was tired and Wendi had spotted a spider above our bed on the ceiling. I no sooner said this and the spider fell off the ceiling an on to our bed (either that or it camouflaged itself to keep from getting squished). We spent the next 20 minutes tearing the bed apart to try and find the spider but to no avail. Wendi didn't sleep well that night and I learned a valuable lesson. Spiders make mistakes too.
Ever since then it has become somewhat of a joke in our house. Whenever Wendi finds a spider on the ceiling she announces it to me "spider on the ceiling in the hallway!" I then inform her not to worry because spiders do not fall. Well, Today we were in the bathroom when Eagle Eye Wendi spies a tiny ,slightly off-white colored, spider on the ceiling and refused to walk under it. I do my thing and she laughs like she is supposed to. I couldn't reach the spider so in order to prove my point I started dancing under the spider. Not 2 second into my very manly dance and Wendi cups her hand to her mouth and yells "It Fell". I looked up and was directly above me descending on an invisible line towards my face. NOT COOL!!! That spider is dead now.
Let this serve as a warning to all spiders everywhere...when in doubt stay outside!!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Hammer Time
Well it's been a hit and miss day for me today. I decided to work on my project car today. I did a little diagnostics last week and determined that the alternator wasn't generating enough electricity and that's why my battery has been dying. So today I called around and found a "rebuilt" alternator and one of the local parts stores. Apparently they don't carry new ones just "rebuilt" ones...go figure. So I installed it, and new drive belts while I was at it. I was so proud of myself. I'm not really automotively inclined but an alternator is pretty straight forward...right? Well I got it all hooked up and triple checked it to make sure that it was hooked up the same as the one I took out. When I was satisfied I reconnected the battery so I could give it a shot. Once I connected the battery I heard a POP from the engine compartment and smoke started pouring out so I disconnect the battery as fast as I can. Strange thing is that the smoke came pouring out of the other side of the engine than I was working.
So I called my brother-in-law over who IS mechanically inclined he came to the conclusion that the alternator was bad. Sure enough, I took it back to the store and they put it on their little tester and it is bad. Funny thing is that they claim that these are tested when they are rebuilt. Well they replace the alternator (I made them put the replacement one on the tester this time, (cuz I'm no dummy) but the pulley size is wrong so I got to make yet another visit to the parts store and help the clerk swap out the pulley. I finally got it installed, reconnected the battery and TA-DA no smoke. Hoping and praying I turned the key to test it out and....nothing. The damage was done. So it looks like I will be getting to pull the starter next and trying to get them to replace that so that I can be back where I was before today only hopefully with a charged battery.
We did setup out INFLATABLE MOVIE SCREEN tonight and put on a movie. It was originally sheduled (British version of "scheduled") for yesterday but it was sprinkling a bit so we called it off. We ended up watching the recently released version of "Alice in Wonderland" staring Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. It should be noted that I only now realized that our last two outdoor movies have starred Johnny Depp. Should I be alarmed by this? For the record Wendi is the one that picked them out so perhaps I will need to family counsel to discuss the matter. At any rate, for those that have never heard of Alice in Wonderland here is a brief synopsis.
The movie is about a girl named Alice who invents a dress that changes sizes as you do. To test the limitations of her invention she travels to a magical land where the food makes you grow (imagine that) and shrink (yeah right) in size. We also learn that in this magical land caterpillars do not get lung cancer, that a Bandisnatch eye contains no nerves connecting it to the brain and that you can fix a watch by dunking it in tea. The movie ends when Alice, after eating and drinking everything else in sight, drinks some purple blood she finds. Apparently that is where wonderland draws the line and they kicked her out but not before she manages to kill the queens prize "Jabber-Baby-Wocky" with a sword that she stole.
All-in-all it was an entertaining movie but I don't know about letting kids watch it. Impressionable minds might think it cool to try drinking urine and blood and go around stealing swords from people's dog houses and killing the queens pets.
We didn't get as much of a turnout this time as we did last time. We did have my cousin (Jen) and her husband (Todd) over with their son (Tavin) for the movie. It was pretty entertaining to watch Todd jump up every time Tavin found a hammer. You really don't realize how many hammers you have lying around your flat (British for house) until a kid comes over that loves to smash electronics with hammers. I found myself thinking "I don't even remember buying that hammer" after like the 10th one. It's a good thing Todd was paying attention or I could have been out a projector too. It's a good think Tavin is so cute too.
So I called my brother-in-law over who IS mechanically inclined he came to the conclusion that the alternator was bad. Sure enough, I took it back to the store and they put it on their little tester and it is bad. Funny thing is that they claim that these are tested when they are rebuilt. Well they replace the alternator (I made them put the replacement one on the tester this time, (cuz I'm no dummy) but the pulley size is wrong so I got to make yet another visit to the parts store and help the clerk swap out the pulley. I finally got it installed, reconnected the battery and TA-DA no smoke. Hoping and praying I turned the key to test it out and....nothing. The damage was done. So it looks like I will be getting to pull the starter next and trying to get them to replace that so that I can be back where I was before today only hopefully with a charged battery.
We did setup out INFLATABLE MOVIE SCREEN tonight and put on a movie. It was originally sheduled (British version of "scheduled") for yesterday but it was sprinkling a bit so we called it off. We ended up watching the recently released version of "Alice in Wonderland" staring Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. It should be noted that I only now realized that our last two outdoor movies have starred Johnny Depp. Should I be alarmed by this? For the record Wendi is the one that picked them out so perhaps I will need to family counsel to discuss the matter. At any rate, for those that have never heard of Alice in Wonderland here is a brief synopsis.
The movie is about a girl named Alice who invents a dress that changes sizes as you do. To test the limitations of her invention she travels to a magical land where the food makes you grow (imagine that) and shrink (yeah right) in size. We also learn that in this magical land caterpillars do not get lung cancer, that a Bandisnatch eye contains no nerves connecting it to the brain and that you can fix a watch by dunking it in tea. The movie ends when Alice, after eating and drinking everything else in sight, drinks some purple blood she finds. Apparently that is where wonderland draws the line and they kicked her out but not before she manages to kill the queens prize "Jabber-Baby-Wocky" with a sword that she stole.
All-in-all it was an entertaining movie but I don't know about letting kids watch it. Impressionable minds might think it cool to try drinking urine and blood and go around stealing swords from people's dog houses and killing the queens pets.
We didn't get as much of a turnout this time as we did last time. We did have my cousin (Jen) and her husband (Todd) over with their son (Tavin) for the movie. It was pretty entertaining to watch Todd jump up every time Tavin found a hammer. You really don't realize how many hammers you have lying around your flat (British for house) until a kid comes over that loves to smash electronics with hammers. I found myself thinking "I don't even remember buying that hammer" after like the 10th one. It's a good thing Todd was paying attention or I could have been out a projector too. It's a good think Tavin is so cute too.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Avast ye Scallywags!
Today I had the largest piece of sacrament bread I think I have ever had. It was a little less than a 1/4 of a piece of bread. I had to stuff it in to my mouth like it was a handful of popcorn. It needed some butter and maybe some jam. That's it, toasted with butter, and a small cup of jam on the tray with a spreading knife. Perfect!
We got a new bishopric and today it was our new bishop's first day conducting. He did a good job, but his face got a little bit more red every time he stood up to talk. I felt bad for the guy but like I said, he did great. My all time favorite nervous church leader story was when Aaron was sustaining somebody and changed the order for the sustaining vote and asked for "those opposed" first, which apparently everybody did. People were literally ROFLing between the pews.
We watched a movie outside on our INFLATABLE MOVIE SCREEN tonight. It was pretty cool, both temperatically and expressionally. We watched Pirates of the Caribbean staring Johnny Depp. It is an action packed thriller where Johnny Depp plays the part of Jack Sparrow, a pirate captain without a ship. He is the worst pirate, then the best pirate and then the worst pirate some people have ever heard of. He spends the movie in pursuit of some African-American pearl (Using 'black' is offensive to some people) he lost and winds up getting cursed by Aztec gold. It all works out in the end though when he gets saved by an African-American smith (still not saying 'black') and he finds his African-American pearl (FYI, saying 'black' in quotes doesn't count). I think I dozed off a few times but I caught the gist of it I think. ;-)
We got a new bishopric and today it was our new bishop's first day conducting. He did a good job, but his face got a little bit more red every time he stood up to talk. I felt bad for the guy but like I said, he did great. My all time favorite nervous church leader story was when Aaron was sustaining somebody and changed the order for the sustaining vote and asked for "those opposed" first, which apparently everybody did. People were literally ROFLing between the pews.
We watched a movie outside on our INFLATABLE MOVIE SCREEN tonight. It was pretty cool, both temperatically and expressionally. We watched Pirates of the Caribbean staring Johnny Depp. It is an action packed thriller where Johnny Depp plays the part of Jack Sparrow, a pirate captain without a ship. He is the worst pirate, then the best pirate and then the worst pirate some people have ever heard of. He spends the movie in pursuit of some African-American pearl (Using 'black' is offensive to some people) he lost and winds up getting cursed by Aztec gold. It all works out in the end though when he gets saved by an African-American smith (still not saying 'black') and he finds his African-American pearl (FYI, saying 'black' in quotes doesn't count). I think I dozed off a few times but I caught the gist of it I think. ;-)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Behold the Power of Tools
We went up to Sheri grave today and sat there for awhile. It was a perfect day, one of the first nice one we have had this year. Wendi brought her some flowers, which she put together herself. They were beautiful of course. I didn't bring any of my own. I did murder about 50 ants for her though. They kept crawling on her headstone so they were swiftly met with my giant thumb of justice. I guess that was my gift to her.
While we sat there we observed others coming to visit loved ones. One group arrived and began unpacking a trunk load of tools. An elderly man ran a power edger around the tombstone and his two companions swept it off. They were quite meticulous and it was fun to watch.
I saw one of the coolest pinwheels there too. It was a monster truck, and the wheels were pinwheels that spin in the wind. Wend had to restrain me from going over and getting a closer look. I think she thought that I might be tempted to swipe it. She thinks she knows me better than she does. To which she will no doubt say "Not true."
Oh, and I got 100% on the campaign level to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Yes, I realize the irony considering Wendi just posted something about me wanting to shoot down a Camp Williams chopper. In my defense, I only thought I should shoot it down so it couldn't report our position to the enemy. Really quite a selfless act if you think about it. YOU'RE WELCOME!!!
While we sat there we observed others coming to visit loved ones. One group arrived and began unpacking a trunk load of tools. An elderly man ran a power edger around the tombstone and his two companions swept it off. They were quite meticulous and it was fun to watch.
I saw one of the coolest pinwheels there too. It was a monster truck, and the wheels were pinwheels that spin in the wind. Wend had to restrain me from going over and getting a closer look. I think she thought that I might be tempted to swipe it. She thinks she knows me better than she does. To which she will no doubt say "Not true."
Oh, and I got 100% on the campaign level to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Yes, I realize the irony considering Wendi just posted something about me wanting to shoot down a Camp Williams chopper. In my defense, I only thought I should shoot it down so it couldn't report our position to the enemy. Really quite a selfless act if you think about it. YOU'RE WELCOME!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Is that you?
Well, who knew that creating a blog would be so much work. I am plum tuckered from making up all of that fake information.
I guess introductions are in order. Hello everybody, my name is James. My wife talked me in to creating a blog. I think she is trying to get some deeper insight into my phyche. Well, I have been telling her since we met that she was the smart one in the relationship and this is my chance to prove it I guess.
I have actually been meaning to start a blog for awhile now. Ever since Sheri passed away and I have felt compelled to start one. One of the great things that she left behind was her blog. In it she shared funny moments with her children, husband and family members. She shared her frustrations, her joys, her trials and her loves. She left a piece of herself on her blog which after she was gone became a treasure to those who love her. I would like to dedicate my blog to her memory.
Wendi and I heard that her headstone and been put in. We hadn't been able to visit her grave since her burial since we couldn't find it. We went this week to visit her and see her headstone. We didn't remember exactly where it was, but it turned out that Wendi was right yet again. The headstone is beautiful and the cemetery is very nice. Being there brought all of the feelings right back and we stood there for a minute with a lump in our throats. It's really hard to believe that she is gone sometimes.
I heard a funny story from my 1st counselor that I thought I would share. His wife and eldest son (7 I think he said) went to the LDS book store to shop. His son found a CTR ring that he wanted really bad. He asked his mother if he could have it. She told him "no" because he already had one and that he didn't need another one. The finished their shopping and left going about their errands. Later that night she was doing laundry and found the CTR ring in his pocket. He had stolen a ring that is meant to remind people to "Choose the Right"!! Can you even fathom the irony here? It's like trying to understand a paradox, only it makes me laugh while it hurts.
And that, my friends, it what we call in the business a "wrap".
I guess introductions are in order. Hello everybody, my name is James. My wife talked me in to creating a blog. I think she is trying to get some deeper insight into my phyche. Well, I have been telling her since we met that she was the smart one in the relationship and this is my chance to prove it I guess.
I have actually been meaning to start a blog for awhile now. Ever since Sheri passed away and I have felt compelled to start one. One of the great things that she left behind was her blog. In it she shared funny moments with her children, husband and family members. She shared her frustrations, her joys, her trials and her loves. She left a piece of herself on her blog which after she was gone became a treasure to those who love her. I would like to dedicate my blog to her memory.
Wendi and I heard that her headstone and been put in. We hadn't been able to visit her grave since her burial since we couldn't find it. We went this week to visit her and see her headstone. We didn't remember exactly where it was, but it turned out that Wendi was right yet again. The headstone is beautiful and the cemetery is very nice. Being there brought all of the feelings right back and we stood there for a minute with a lump in our throats. It's really hard to believe that she is gone sometimes.
I heard a funny story from my 1st counselor that I thought I would share. His wife and eldest son (7 I think he said) went to the LDS book store to shop. His son found a CTR ring that he wanted really bad. He asked his mother if he could have it. She told him "no" because he already had one and that he didn't need another one. The finished their shopping and left going about their errands. Later that night she was doing laundry and found the CTR ring in his pocket. He had stolen a ring that is meant to remind people to "Choose the Right"!! Can you even fathom the irony here? It's like trying to understand a paradox, only it makes me laugh while it hurts.
And that, my friends, it what we call in the business a "wrap".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)