At our house we spend more time preparing for and decorating for the big day. Wendi usually has one or two projects in mind to add to the decorations. Last year it was the Apothecary which turned out amazing.
It is mostly Wendi as I am not really very crafty unless it involves a computer or a wood shop. I need to have a plan, precise measurements, consistency and either a mouse or a power tool in my hand.
Today Wendi wanted to work on making scary books for Halloween. We had got shopping at some 2nd hand stores and found some that had old looking pages a couple weeks ago for just this purpose. This involves modge-podge, painting, decorating and a general lack of power tools. She invited me to do one but, as I am pretty sure we established earlier, it just not my cup of tea. To be honest nothing is really my cup of tea. I simply don't care for tea. I have had my share of tea in my day, but have never enjoyed a drop. If somebody was to cast everybody I know into characters from Alice in Wonderland, I could not be the Mad Hatter.
I decided that I could at least lend her a helping hand and picked up and started sizing up a human skull. I thought having a skull protruding from the front of a book could be cool so I decided to cut his face off (maybe the Knave of Hearts). I tried the kitchen sheers but the bone-like plastic was too much. Next a steak knife entered the skulls mind, but I soon realized that I would soon be putting a lot of blood and tears into this project if I kept it up. Then it came to me...the rotary tool. Yes, that made short work of the skulls face and my blood remained right where I like it.
I sanded it flat and got it ready for Wendi, but she was already hard at work with her own dumb idea. "Why don't you use it for one for yourself?" she taunted me. Well, I must admit that my pride got the better of me. Watching her do it made me realize how simple it was. "A child could do this!" I blurted out accidentally, and then it was on...yes, like Donkey Kong.
After taking meticulous measurements and making sure I had it centered, I hot glued the elf's face to the front of my book. Soon I was modge-podginizing with book cover with tissue paper and painting it. Then I started learning new words like "Second Coat" and "Dry Brush" and I had to take a break to refill my manly meter before things got too crazy. As soon as Richard Simmons left I painted and painted, and dry brushed, viola...my masterpiece was complete.
Wendi had of course not only finished hers but had gone back to watching "the doctor". I looked at her completed book and I realized that my initial decision was the correct one. I should have stayed out of Mr. McGreggors garden, but it was too late. Hers turned out amazing while mine looks like something that a child could have made out of macaroni and lima beans.I suppose there are some lessons that can be taken away from all of this.
#1 - Know your limitations.
#2 - Follow your instincts.
#3 - Be a graceful loser.
#4 - Only go to bed once each night.
#5 - Things never turn out as cool in real life as they do in your head.
#6 - Modge-Podge tastes just like Elmer's Glue.
#7 - Just because something says "Eat Me" doesn't mean you should.
#8 - Dylan cheats at cards.
#9 - Each can of alphabet soup does not legally have to contain all of the letters of the alphabet.
#10 - Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you could miss it.
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