A picture is worth...

So...if you haven't noticed I have been MIA lately. I guess I owe you a decent blog entry to catch up....or...

We had a pretty amazing storm blow through this afternoon so I ran outside and started snapping pictures...

I don't really fancy myself a photogenotographer or anything but I figured if I kept pushing the button the odds were in my favor.

So what's that now, 3000 words? In conclusion...

It's Elementery

Last night we found out how long it takes to drive to the Megaplex 20 in West Jordan. It was 10 minutes to 9:00 PM and I was playing a video game when I suddenly had a thought and blurted out "We should have gone to see a movie tonight." My wife "We still can." Me "We would have to hurry." It turned out that there was a showing of "Avatar: The Last Airbender" in 3D at 9:20 (approx 30 minutes). So we bought our tickets online, threw on some shoes, jumped in the car and were on our way to Salt Lake within 10 minutes.

I was trying to drive quickly, without risking a ticket. I was also going over the first Avatar movie, I had seen in 2009, in my mind. For the record it took about 27 minutes to drive to West Jordan, get our tickets, get to our theater, find some 3D glasses and take our seats. 7 minutes is pretty much the same amount of time it takes to get through all of the previews so it worked out pretty much perfect.

I have to say I was surprised that they had already made a sequel of Avatar since they just released the last one on video not that long ago. I may never understand why, but they recasted all of the actors, changed the setting completely, and started the story in a way that it didn't even pick up where the other one left off. The only thing I can think is they are doing some fancy film school thing like Star Wars where you go back in time to show how they got where they were in the last one. I guess I am just not sophisticated enough for the type of thing as I had difficulty following it. I finally decided to forget the first Avatar and just enjoy this one as it's own film. I figured I would have weeks to figure out how they go together after the movie is over.

The Last Airbender is the tale of a 100 year temper tantrum. King Air decides to grow up and finds out that Prince Fire no longer needs Air. King Air decides to join up with Princess Water (who is sporting a surprisingly falic hair doo...really...check it out), the arch enemy of Fire of course, to douse the flame of elementism. By the end of the movie King Air has learned to make his tattoos glow and princess water has died her hair darker.

I was a bit disappointed in the "3D". I really didn't compare to the first Avatar movie. I kept feeling like I was not seeing much "3D Action" so I kept pulling my glasses off and sure enough it wasn't. At least they had the decency to make it so the whole movie was visible through the 3D glasses unlike Superman....LAME. The movie went by fast though and the special effects were amazing.

RattleSnake Rapidly Soaked

I got to spend my Independence Day weekend with a few of my cousins this year. It was something we don't get to do very often, but something I do hope we can make happen more frequently. Usually I only get to see my cousins whenever there is a wedding or funeral so it was nice to just get together and have fun this time.

We went to Lagoon on Friday. We did have to break a few speed limits to get there in time to take advantage of the $5.00 off coupons and free drink coupons, but only some buy in front of us got nabbed by the cops so no harm done.

We spent the first half of the day taking my cousins to the kiddie rides. Oh, they had so much fun. We started them off easy with a simple little whale ride that just goes up and down like a see-saw but soon they were riding the wild kiddie rides over and over. By the end of the day my Cousin was dragging her dad on to some big kid rids that even I wouldn't go on. they would come off the rides with the biggest grins you ever saw. It was soooo worth it!

I didn't ride my myself except for the bumper cars of course. I love the bumper cars. I got some good rams in on my cousins and visa-versa. We also went on the save Ferris wheel. I was having second thoughts while we were still in line but I brushed them off. We rod the Ferris wheel up to the top and it is really high. I also didn't know before hand, but the Ferris wheel is kinda like the tea cups at Disney land in that there is a wheel in the middle so you spin the carriage...as if being 10 stories off the ground with only 2 bolds between you and certain death wasn't enough.

We ended the day by riding the rapids of the rattlesnake. The girls caught the brunt of the waterfall so I couldn't really ask for more there. Then we had ice cream. Yeah, it doesn't really get much better does it? Last 4th of July will go down as one of the best July 4ths I have ever had. I'm so glad they all made the trip up here.

Motorcycle Momma

I have been around the block a few times, so when I see something that I have never seen before I have take it in. Since it seems to be happening less and less I find myself savoring those moments and almost making mental snapshot of the incident. Well as luck would have it I had one of those moments recently.

Wendi had run into a local business and I remained behind in the car as usual. Main street and its traffic was passing me by. It finally got warm enough for all of the motorcycle enthusiast to bless us with their antics. You would think that we have motorcycle gangs sometimes, but I digress.

Many times the man will drive and the woman will sit on the small seat behind him (often called the "female dog" seat). If the woman is really in to it the couple will invest in a 2nd bike so that they can ride side by side making eyes at each other. The latter is the scenario that I observed on this particular occasion. Neither the man or the woman was wearing any protective gear, which in and of itself wouldn't be such a big deal except for that the lady was PREGNANT!!! Yeah, and not just a little pregnant like 7 months along big and pregnant.

I'll just go ahead and give that a bit to soak in.

Driving Mrs. Craisy

Utah drivers are bad. Okay, in my opinion Utah drivers can generally be classified as bad. That of course does not encompass everybody, and I do try to take into consideration that everybody has “bad driver” moments. I, like everybody else, consider myself a good driver. I use my turn signals, I come to a complete stop, I drive defensively. I even take it upon myself to help other drivers improve. For the last several years I have been on a one-man mission to “change the world one finger at a time”. But I kid….kinda.

Today we ventured out of our sanctuary out in to the world. As you might have guessed, I did not go well. Luckily I was able to convince Wendi to drive (yes I know that means she wears the pants in the relationship) or I would have probably blown a gasket. I was already yelling at the people (as if they could hear me through my windshield) and shaking my head in disgust. Let’s just say it’s probably a good think I’m not a police officer or there would have been handing out tickets written on napkins by the end of the day.

Okay, so here is the most amazing of the horrible driving stories from today. We were driving on State St. and reached the light for Main St. Utahans have a bad habit of running the left turn light since the delay between that light and the oncoming green gives some leeway. Well this light was no exception and one more car went through than probably should have and then our whole line of traffic started through the intersection. Suddenly Lil’ Miss 10 seconds later decides the light is still orange and heads through the intersection. So 10 cars got to slam on the breaks to let Sister Colorblind squeeze through that particular light. I would have thought that the wall of cars coming at her would at least have slowed her down but no…she was like Han Solo yelling “Punch it Chewie!” Who names their kid Chewie anyway? Now, if by chance you happen to think I’m exaggerating this story this should put it in to perspective for you. My wife, who is pretty easy going as far as drivers goes, honked at the lady to let her know she did not appreciate her shenanigans. Yes, SHE HONKED!! I don't know if the lady could hear the honk over my yelling but she still did it.

I could go on but I’m not even going to tell you about the lady who was texting on her cell phone while driving through construction where the lanes shifted but she did not. Oh crap, you totally tricked me in to telling you anyway. You are a tricky one! I can tell I’m going to have to keep my good eye on you. I don’t know…LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

The Itsy Bitsy Spider...

I do not like bees. I know, they serve a vital purpose and it's really nothing personal. Really it's any insect that has wings and a stinger that flies in my face, or worse in my soda, when I am trying to enjoy the outdoors. Other insects that fall in to this category include, but is not limited to, wasps, hornets, yellow jackets and all types of bees, hereafter referred to as "Killer Bees".

This area of weakness has become yet another adversity that my wife and I have been able to turn in to a bonding area. You see my wife has the same feeling about spiders, so we made a deal...she shoos away all of the flying biting/stinging insects and I crush all of the 8 legged intruders that she finds. We have learned to rely on each other in our times of great distress which has made us grow closer together. I *sniff* know, right?

Once I made the mistake of telling Wendi that spiders do not fall. Even when upside-down on the celling they are able to hold on to even the smoothest surfaces. I said this because it was bed time and I was tired and Wendi had spotted a spider above our bed on the ceiling. I no sooner said this and the spider fell off the ceiling an on to our bed (either that or it camouflaged itself to keep from getting squished). We spent the next 20 minutes tearing the bed apart to try and find the spider but to no avail. Wendi didn't sleep well that night and I learned a valuable lesson. Spiders make mistakes too.

Ever since then it has become somewhat of a joke in our house. Whenever Wendi finds a spider on the ceiling she announces it to me "spider on the ceiling in the hallway!" I then inform her not to worry because spiders do not fall. Well, Today we were in the bathroom when Eagle Eye Wendi spies a tiny ,slightly off-white colored, spider on the ceiling and refused to walk under it. I do my thing and she laughs like she is supposed to. I couldn't reach the spider so in order to prove my point I started dancing under the spider. Not 2 second into my very manly dance and Wendi cups her hand to her mouth and yells "It Fell". I looked up and was directly above me descending on an invisible line towards my face. NOT COOL!!! That spider is dead now.

Let this serve as a warning to all spiders everywhere...when in doubt stay outside!!

Hammer Time

Well it's been a hit and miss day for me today. I decided to work on my project car today. I did a little diagnostics last week and determined that the alternator wasn't generating enough electricity and that's why my battery has been dying. So today I called around and found a "rebuilt" alternator and one of the local parts stores. Apparently they don't carry new ones just "rebuilt" ones...go figure. So I installed it, and new drive belts while I was at it. I was so proud of myself. I'm not really automotively inclined but an alternator is pretty straight forward...right? Well I got it all hooked up and triple checked it to make sure that it was hooked up the same as the one I took out. When I was satisfied I reconnected the battery so I could give it a shot. Once I connected the battery I heard a POP from the engine compartment and smoke started pouring out so I disconnect the battery as fast as I can. Strange thing is that the smoke came pouring out of the other side of the engine than I was working.

So I called my brother-in-law over who IS mechanically inclined he came to the conclusion that the alternator was bad. Sure enough, I took it back to the store and they put it on their little tester and it is bad. Funny thing is that they claim that these are tested when they are rebuilt. Well they replace the alternator (I made them put the replacement one on the tester this time, (cuz I'm no dummy) but the pulley size is wrong so I got to make yet another visit to the parts store and help the clerk swap out the pulley. I finally got it installed, reconnected the battery and TA-DA no smoke. Hoping and praying I turned the key to test it out and....nothing. The damage was done. So it looks like I will be getting to pull the starter next and trying to get them to replace that so that I can be back where I was before today only hopefully with a charged battery.

We did setup out INFLATABLE MOVIE SCREEN tonight and put on a movie. It was originally sheduled (British version of "scheduled") for yesterday but it was sprinkling a bit so we called it off. We ended up watching the recently released version of "Alice in Wonderland" staring Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. It should be noted that I only now realized that our last two outdoor movies have starred Johnny Depp. Should I be alarmed by this? For the record Wendi is the one that picked them out so perhaps I will need to family counsel to discuss the matter. At any rate, for those that have never heard of Alice in Wonderland here is a brief synopsis.

The movie is about a girl named Alice who invents a dress that changes sizes as you do. To test the limitations of her invention she travels to a magical land where the food makes you grow (imagine that) and shrink (yeah right) in size. We also learn that in this magical land caterpillars do not get lung cancer, that a Bandisnatch eye contains no nerves connecting it to the brain and that you can fix a watch by dunking it in tea. The movie ends when Alice, after eating and drinking everything else in sight, drinks some purple blood she finds. Apparently that is where wonderland draws the line and they kicked her out but not before she manages to kill the queens prize "Jabber-Baby-Wocky" with a sword that she stole.

All-in-all it was an entertaining movie but I don't know about letting kids watch it. Impressionable minds might think it cool to try drinking urine and blood and go around stealing swords from people's dog houses and killing the queens pets.

We didn't get as much of a turnout this time as we did last time. We did have my cousin (Jen) and her husband (Todd) over with their son (Tavin) for the movie. It was pretty entertaining to watch Todd jump up every time Tavin found a hammer. You really don't realize how many hammers you have lying around your flat (British for house) until a kid comes over that loves to smash electronics with hammers. I found myself thinking "I don't even remember buying that hammer" after like the 10th one. It's a good thing Todd was paying attention or I could have been out a projector too. It's a good think Tavin is so cute too.