Today I went to a funeral. It was for a man I have sat next to at birthday and holiday parties for years. He is the grandpa and father of a family that we are close to.
It was a nice funeral. It did make me realize that I never really got to know the guy, so it was interesting to hear the stories and memories that people had of him. It really made me wish that I had known him better. That maybe if I would have reached out and asked him he would have opened up and told me his story.
It was the same with my step-father. I thought I knew the man. I lived with him for 10+ years, but I had a similar experience at his funeral. His brother and other family members got up and started telling these stories about the guy that I had never heard. Stories of a reckless teenager driving his first car. Stories of a fun loving, joke playing guy that anybody would would to hang out with. I remember wishing that I could have known that guy.
It's was tough to see this guy go. He was such a strong man. He had been plagued recently with problem after problem but whenever I saw him he was happy and outgoing. Knowing what he was going through it's pretty amazing.
It's hard to see people that you care about in such pain and know that there is literally nothing you can do to help. I think that is the toughest of all for me. It makes me thankful for my religious beliefs though. I don't know how people can bury a loved one believing that there is nothing after that. That once the body gives out the personality and the memories and everything that made up that person is gone forever. What a waste that would be.
What a relief it is know that everything that we are will continue on after we die. That my grandma with her laugh and her stories and all of her amazing talents are there...waiting. Yes, it is hard to say goodbye to somebody, and it certainly leaves a void in our lives once they are gone. But in a way it gives us something to look forward to. When I imagine the scene that awaits me when my time does come, my grandmother throws her arms around my neck and gives me one of her giant hugs. That is something that I look forward to. And she we finally be able to itch that toe.
