Puppy's for sale.

We went out tonight to hunt and gather, as so often is the case. We passed by a house on one of the main roads nearby where I saw a hand painted sign that read "Puppy's for sale." Really? That looked right to you? Bill Engvall would be so proud.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have really high standards for using the English language. Through or Thru I don't care. Their heading over they're to see there parents... okay, maybe not that low. If you are texting or IMing then maybe. But if you are going to hand paint a sign and place it on your front lawn for all to see, for the love, seek the advice of a literate family member before putting brush to canvas.




My wife sent me this and it was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the sign. Who knew that the only thing standing between a nice family dinner and cannibalism was a comma. Good times.

There is a guy down the street from us that frequently has a "Free Kittens" sign out front. I think I'll sneak out and change it to "Free, Kitten's".

Let's not fight you and I.

Technology and I usually get along pretty good. I think that it has learned that I don't really accept "No" as a valid answer from inanimate objects. There are times when computers and other electronics will work when I try perform the same steps that somebody else has performed numerous times before I did. This tends to annoy other more than you would think it would.

For the last few days technology (and tech support people in India) and I have not been getting along. At some point on Saturday our DSL modem decided that it no longer wanted to be a modem but a "red light, green light" machine instead. We had a little talk it's RAM was made up.

So I decided to turn to the Internet for help. Yeah, I couldn't find a thing on it or even get a page to load. Luckily my phone has some access to the web and I was able to determine the magnitude of the situation. Since we lease our modem I was forced to turn to my arch enemy...tech support.

After the 15 minute ordeal to prove that I am who I say I am we get down to proving that the modem is indeed not working.

Indian Lady: Sir, can you press the power button?
Me: No, it doesn't have one.
Indian Lady: OK, I'm sorry to hear that. Can you tell me are there any lights on it?
Me: Yes, there are.
Indian Lady: OK, thank you sir...so you should now be able to see Internet.
Me: Should? Yes, but no, still nothing.
Indian Lady: OK, give me a few minutes to check on something.
5 minutes late
Indian Lady: Are you still there sir?
Me: Yep
Indian Lady: OK, thank you for your patience sir.
Me: /eyeroll
Indian Lady: Can you tell me what modem you have?
Me: Sure, it's a...
Indian Lady: Okay, let me look that up in our system.
Indian Lady: Uh huh
Indian Lady: Okay
Indian Lady: Hmmm
Indian Lady: Uh huh
Indian Lady: Okay, it looks like your modem is broken.

So they send us a new one. In the mean time I have been without the Internet at home. I use the Internet for almost everything now days. I have stopped asking Wendi where I left my keys, I just Google it. I also go online to blog and to contact people, and to download coloring pages, and to bet on horse races, and to watch movies, etc. We had to relearn how to play bored games at our house.

I was able to prove a theory. That not having the Internet will not actually kill you. Or at least not in small doses.