What I learned on ManTracker

I have recently become addicted to a show on the Science Channel called ManTracker. The premise is two people (the prey) are given a map and a compass and dropped in the middle of nowhere. A goal is marked on the map and if the prey can make it to that goal they win. But there is a hitch, a professional tracker on horseback, and his trusty sidekick, are hot on their heels. The tracker doesn't know where the goal is so he has to track the prey and trying catch them any way they can.

Here are the things that I have learned if you want to avoid being captured by a professional tracker.

1.) Don't just walk on the roads. Horses can run a lot faster than you can on a nice flat straight surface. Try jumping on hiking trails or better yet go off road.

2.) Voice carry. - Don't yell or even talk normally because your voice will echo through the canyons and the tracker will have good idea where you are.

3.) Don't leave tracks. - The professional tracker needs tracks to find you. The more tracks you leave the easier you make his job. Try walking on rocks and patches of grass.

4.) Don't smoke. - This is especially true when you are upwind from the professional tracker. Cigarettes have a very distinctive smell, not to mention you probably shouldn't be smoking if you are running anytime soon.

5.) Travel after the sun goes down. - Chances are the tracker has caught up to you by the end of the first day. When it starts to get dark he will find a place to make camp. In the morning the first place he is going to go is where he last saw you. Your best chance is to continue to move until it gets too dark to travel safely.

6.) Bring a second pair of shoes. - He is following your tracks. If your tracks suddenly change it might confuse him for a minute giving you the vital seconds to cross the finish line.

7.) Don't try to outrun the tracker. - When hear the clippidy clop of the trackers horse bearing down on you don't try to outrun the horse on the road. The horse will outrun you. Instead jump into any dense underbrush you can find.

8.) Don't walk along a ridge. - The shape of a human being tends to stick out again the rough shape of the mountain. Instead walk just down a bit.

9.) Never ever split up. - You only have one map and one compass. If you don't have a plan and one of you runs left and the other runs right, one of you is probably going to end up lost.

10.) After getting away don't go back to the road. - I know this seems like a no brainer, but for some reason once he is out of sight you will be overcome with the desire to return back to the road. He is waiting just around the corner.

11.) Don't doubt yourself. - If you think you heard a horse you probably did. If you thought you saw movement behind a tree you probably did.

Follow these rules and you just might get away....at least for a day or two.

Super Satellite Soaker

We have been getting some snow creeping in lately. Nothing sticking to the ground or anything, just enough to remind us what is coming. We were watching TV the other night and "Walking Dead" was about to come on. It's a show about zombies, so you know Wendi isn't going to miss it.

Well the snow started to stick to the satellite dish and interrupted our TV watching. What to do? It's not like I'm going to climb up on the roof to clean it off. Then the light bulb went off. My super soaker squirt gun can shoot water 15-20 feet. So I filled it with hot water and stood in my back yard and hosed it down. It worked like a charm, and I didn't even have to die.

Once again one of my toys saves the day. Usually it's a G.I. Joe or my xbox, but I'm just glad I can finally mark "shoot something with a water gun in the winter" off my list.

I think I need to re-evaluate my list.

12 I have...who'll go 13?

Well, it happened today. The relationship that Wendi and I share has passed another milestone. Our marriage turned 12 today. I don't know why, but it's weird to think about it like that. It seems like she has pretty much always been a part of my life. The listening ear when I have had a rough day at work. The one who laughs at all my lame jokes. The only person of the face of the planet that I don't think I could live without.

Apparently Jen and Todd's baby wanted to celebrate our anniversary too and he decided to be born today. So we spent half of our anniversary doing romantic things like feeding Taven. He was an angel though so it wasn't bad at all. I sure hope I'm not spilling the beans by announcing that they had their baby. If you haven't heard by now then you probably aren't as good of friends with them as you thought :-)

We did do some romantic stuff. We drove around to 3 different restaurants and got our favorite foods (within a 10 mile radius) and brought it back to the house. Then we watched Toy Story 3. Much better than number 2 if you are wondering. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up. Don't worry, I will give a full review on it tomorrow or some other time.

Strangely enough, we also shared our anniversary with a law. I don't know how many people can say that, but you can now count us among that elite few. Alright, it may be a bit of a stretch, but the law I am referring to is Time. Today is daylight savings. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it is the day where just about everybody, who doesn't live in Arizona, turns their clocks forward or backward one hour. This is done to compensate for the earth shifting on its axis which causes the sun to not set at the same time. All it really proves to do anymore is cause people to be late, or early, to their appointments for the following day. Usually church is a ghost chapel.

All in all a pretty good day. New life entered the world, old life continues together in the world and a heavenly body gets to expose itself a little earlier in the morning. Not too shabby if I may say so myself.

I think I'll have some Cheetos.

Zombie Monday Shopping

I'm pretty sure that everybody has heard of Black Friday but have you ever heard of Zombie Monday? Well, I just now made it up so I'm guessing no, but it's gonna take off, I have a sense for these things.

Well, that's what we did today. We headed out at the crack of dawn (10:30 am) and hit up all of the Halloween stores. They are all having their 50% off sales so we stocked up for next year. I only have one thing to say...It's. And a few more...gonna be awesome!!! We ended up spending quite a bit, but we got almost everything that we were eyeing for Halloween this year. Everything but the fog machine, unfortunately they were all gone. So if anybody is wondering what to get us for Halloween think San Francisco in the morning.

We also got to learn how big of jerks our insurance company is. My doctor recommends a procedure and the specialist agrees. But the insurance company, in all its wisdom, decides without any education whatsoever that the procedure is not necessary. The amazing thing is that the procedure wouldn't cost them a dime. Simply appalling. And insurance companies wonder why America thinks that socialized medicine sounds good. It's because you are so damned worried about making money that you don't care about your customers. Unfortunately, the government being in charge won't really fix that either. Just ask Canada. It looks like I get to write one of my now famous letters to appeal the decision.

In answer to the question on everybody's mind who is reading this...I will be a ninja next year. I can't wait.